happiness car or enjoyment....

everything has changed around me....

i am not the same saurabh i used to be...

the same simple question all day and night i keep on asking to my self..

what i want..

and i am doing something to achieve it....................


the world around me has changed ...

there is no body in my life whom i need to answer now///

i am fine now... and have moved on ( atleast i think so)



i dont want to write any think else./..
i just want to happy for some time...
might be that i have set my target very high due to which i am not able to get happiness..
like
owning a car
owning a house..

might be i need to understand...,that going around with friend for a short trip is more charming and entertaining then a car...

no but...
i need to own a car..

i dont know
bt right now i have a target in my mind..
so.... lets aim towards it... 1 lk...

is it too late?

Its already 00:15 , and i am starting to write a blog.
i dont know why i am writing ( as no body is going to read it except me).

is a long time when i want to sit down and pen all what i feel.

But not possible.... as always i am afraid of comprehensive.

the main topic that is going on my head 24x7 these days
what am i doing?
is a right thing?
am i doing any thing wrong?


i dont know the answer of any question
but only thing i know is I AM LOSSING SOMEONE

but she is also not someone in my life
she is the one.

i like her company.
i like spending time with her.
i like the she love me.

then why i am not trying my best..........


is it because of the few thing which i dont like about her.
mainly her insecure felling that she has....


or is it her family.............which is driving me crazy.


I seriously don't know.

my family is waiting for answer from my side.
whats going on between us
is her father ready
what is it that is making her father disagree

and many other unanswered questions ....which he want to ask

but he don;t ask me as he feels i get irritate answering all those.


Papa i dont know what to answer.

it is almost decided that we will not be continuing any further.
But i dont know how to react,....
i dont know how to tell you....


i dont know is there any thing left...

i dont know whether i can do anything to save us.......

or is it too late........


i think i need to decide my priorities...
i think i need to decide what i like the most
i think i need to decide what is the most important for me...

but can i , is my next question..


At last of whole discussion i want to pray God to help me..
as always i am not in a condition to decide...

or is it too late...

Will this work

I just want to try
I am writing this bg from my mobioe

First day and want to test out everthing
Bt of it works then it would be gr8

Yesterday was tushar bday.
And we really enjoyed a lot.

feeling alone

it started as usual, i started my morning thinking what to do whole day.
nothing gr8 i have in my life to do.

to what to do whole day.
no shopping, i need to save -my new moto in life, because either i can save or can can spend.
both spending and saving is not possible with the amount of salary i am having.

leave it,

seriously telling you, it is my first blog and i have my topics to write but getting vonfuse how to start.
Should i tell you about 25,000/- which i lost and go to bank every saturday to know its status and how i felt on that day.

or should i tell you how i feel you when every day i go by a shared auto to my office.
or should i tell you about the feeling i had when a mother holding his son was crying and asking the auto driver to drive fast.

or how i feel when one of seniors scold me for working at night.

or when i feel what i will do in my future.

seriously but i am feeling i am not the one whole left the collage 2 years back .

today the condition is different.
I get dimotivated very easily.

I am not happy that i am working in a company which i dream of from my first year of my college, but I am said because i am not earning what i am expecting.

I am not happy that i am performing good and enjoy working, but i am sad because i dont know what is my future in my company.

I am not happy that i am not single now but i am sad because i her family is not ready.

I am not happy that have few good friends but i am sad because i have many guys who dont like me in office.


But one think i know, i am alone today.
seating in my room lonely with my laptop and tv.

and no plans for today and tomorrow.
just waiting to happen some thing in life.

Today i just feel to say sorry to the one, who love me the more than i do her.
But i can't stand beside her and say i am with you dear.
and say we can make your love ones understand.
and say please don't leave hope.
and say please take your own time.
and say i love you.

but .......................................

i will come back...........